Thursday, April 18, 2013

Have I Lost My Mind?

So my husband thinks I have lost my mind.  While he was out running errands the other night I was thinking about how I might plan a garden in my small, suburban backyard.  I am anxious to be able to walk out my door this summer and grab fresh tomatoes, lettuces and maybe even some berries.  In my search for different small-space set-ups, I got to thinking about how nice it would also be to have a few chickens so we could also have fresh eggs every day.  Big Monkey is always asking about a pet, so they could serve two purposes.  My search of gardens turned into a search for "suburban chickens."  I found many different chicken coops that are inconspicuous that would work perfectly in our yard.  When Big D got home I excitedly told him about my desire for chickens and he looked at me with this blank stare.  I kept going on about how great they would be and how easy they are to take care of.  He continued to stare at me, gave a long pause and then asked, "Did you totally lose your mind while I was gone??"  No matter how I tried to explain it, he couldn't be convinced.

I have been doing so much thinking about my life lately...my career, my family, our food supply, the horrific things that are happening in our society...and I just want to move my family out in a remote, country landscape, grow a huge organic garden and have a whole yard filled with free-range chickens.  I would be at home with my kids and find serenity in a quieter, slower-paced life.  I have been reflecting a lot on my profession and where the state of education is going.  All over the media "I" am being slammed and told that I am making too much money, that I don't do my job, that I have it easy and only teach so I can have the summers off (which by the way is laughable)...the list goes on and on.  It is very disheartening and wears me down.  So what does this have to becoming frugal?  My hope is that I can save up enough money to one day be able to work part-time and be available for my kids.  It breaks my heart thinking about Big Monkey starting kindergarten next year and not being able to be a room-mother or help out at class parties or go on any field trips.  I hope that neither one of the girls looks back on their school years and feels cheated that their mommy wasn't more visible at school; I know I will have enough guilt of my own to last two lifetimes.

For now, though, I will find the happiness and blessings that are around me, be thankful I have a job, plan my little garden on the patio, and do the best I can to find my sanity.

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